Looking back at it…I should never be the big spoon.

One of the things I pride myself on when swiping is being able to decipher how tall a person is and how big they are based on photos.  Being 5’8″, the height component is important to me.  I feel like I’ve gotten pretty good at guessing how tall a person might be.  I try not to ask because it’s not that easy to work in to conversation and I feel rude just outright asking…. but I will.

This match I could tell might be bordering on my too short and too skinny range, but his face was so darn cute, I swiped anyway.  Boom, match.  We first meet for coffee.  It was short and sweet and he was intriguing.  We decide to go out to dinner for our second date. Conversation is going great, wine is flowing, it’s going well.  He was probably about 5’11 or 6′ which is on the low end for me and a little smaller than I like, but his personality was great.   We have a few drinks and then I decide it’s time to call it a night.  He walks me home (we happened to be eating and drinking around where I lived at the time), and we get to my front door.  I get a goodnight smooch and am about to walk up.  He is still standing there and says, “Do you wanna hang out and watch TV for a little bit?”

I’m a little taken off guard at the question and but in the heat of the moment I said “sure.”  I literally plan on watching TV however.  We go into my living room, pour a glass of wine, and I turn on Grey’s Anatomy from the DVR.  I told y’all, we’re literally going to watch TV.  I know this trick and it’s not happening.

Of course, as the drinks would have it, we end up laying on the couch together.  Calm down, just spooning.  Somehow, as if crafted by the devil himself, I end up towards the cushion of the couch and him in front closest to the TV.. you know.. I’m the big spoon.

Dr. Grey is on TV and I look down him… then down at myself… then back at him… then back at me.  Wait a minute. I look again.  Not only am I longer than him but I am taller than him sideways laying on our sides.  Aww hell naw.  hell naw

I literally do like the dramatic arm stretch and yawn, get up and say, “Ok, it’s time for you to go home. I have to work tomorrow. Thanks for dinner!”  and stand at my open front door as he puts his shoes back on.

I’ve done a lot of testing of what I call my “non-negotiables” and too short and too skinny are two that are here to stay.  Add also being the big spoon.

skinny dudes


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